Have we lost the ability to be grateful? Have we as a nation lost perspective? Have we forgotten how truly blessed we are?
My mom and her parents fled Europe as the winds of war began to blow in the late 1930’s. As a seven-year-old, she recalls going to the butcher shop near their home and asking the butcher for a nickels worth of bologna, slice it thin. She also shared that dinner was often one piece of meat, cooked in fat. The meat was for my grandfather. My mom, aunt, and grandmother would dip a slice of bread in the drippings. They were poor, but you would never hear them say that. They were always grateful for the blessings they had rather than musing about the things they did not. My grandmother was one of the most grateful people I have ever met. What did she know that we do not? Intentionally focusing on being grateful has a tremendous impact on every aspect of our life. According to Amit Amin of Happierhuman.com, a study showed that a five-minute a day gratitude journal could increase your well-being by more than 10%. That is the same impact as doubling your income. He went on to add that gratitude makes us healthier. We have fewer ailments, less pain, more sleep and the sleep we have is of a higher quality. Amin identified 31 benefits of having an attitude of gratitude ranging from personal happiness to increased productivity and career advancement. A 2015 Newsweek article by Douglas Main, reported that grateful people are not only healthier but more hopeful. Athletes who expressed more gratitude toward their coaches had greater self-esteem. The article also noted grateful people tend to be more empathetic. So how does it work? Well, my grandmother lingered over life’s blessings. It was that simple; she spent time reflecting on the blessings she had in her life. She would have had plenty to complain about, but she chose not to. She lived in the moment and didn’t dwell in the past or long for some future time. Being grateful allowed her to leave fear behind, even though a totalitarian regime took her father and brother away, never to be seen again. As long as I was blessed to have her in my life, she was a joyful person. She was one of those people who brightened any room she entered. The best way to cultivate gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal. You are combining the benefit of reflection and journaling with the intentional act of creating a more positive mindset. Next week is Thanksgiving. Why not give it a try over the next week and let me know how you make out. You will not regret it. I promise!
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Potential Published June 2016 Have you ever thought about the word potential? Webster defines potential as existing in possibility: capable of development into actuality. Potential: a great word filled with possibility and yet left on its own, useless. As I write this article, farmers and gardeners are planting seeds. All sorts of seeds. Seeds filled with the potential to become great plants that will become beautiful flowers or great tasting foods that we can eat. Moreover, left in their safe and sterile packages, they are nothing more than potential food or flowers. Have you ever thought about an acorn? A simple little seed with so much potential that can grow into a mighty oak tree. In his book, Discovering your Sweet Spot, author Scott M. Fay describes the acorn’s potential when he says, “the average oak tree produces 70,000 to 150,000 acorns per year. During the trees lifetime, that number rises to 13.5 million acorns.” Now that is potential for sure, but if the acorn is never planted in the ground, none of its potential will ever be reached. It must be placed into an environment where its potential can be realized through a process of germination and growth. Think about what will be lost if that acorn never makes it into the right kind of soil. The potential of growing 13.5 million additional acorns or the 300 board feet of lumber that could be used to build furniture. How much potential do you have? Will it ever be realized? Just like the acorn you need to be in an environment conducive to growth. Let’s explore three critical aspects of a healthy potential nurturing environment: 1. Have you placed yourself in fertile soil that will help the seed of your potential germinate? Are the nutrients available to you? Is there plenty of water? In our March newsletter, I wrote about thinking and how important it is to seed our minds with new thoughts. These thoughts are the fertilizer for the germination of our potential. 2. Have you determined what you are passionate about? Passion is like the air we breathe. Without it, our brains shut down and we fall into a complacent existence of atrophy which leads to lost potential. It is your passion that will drive your seeds of potential through the soil and into the light of each and every new day. 3. Are you in a climate for growth and development? Dr. David McClelland, a research social psychologist of Harvard, states that “95 percent of our success or failure is determined by the people we habitually associate with.” Are the people you surround yourself with feeding the development of your potential or holding you back? Are they a catalyst for growth or depleting your life of motivation and energy. You need to have others ahead of you in the journey. They will be your inspiration and motivation to grow to new heights. If you are the smartest person in the group, find a new group. Look for groups where growth is valued and where people are always ready to challenge the status quo. Potential. It is a great word. A word filled promise and possibility waiting to be released. As leaders, we must be looking at our organizations to make sure the environment is one where each employee can reach his or her full potential. Then and only then will we be able to make the strides needed to innovate and grow our business and improve our community. Each month we have ended with the same question, so what’s next? What’s next for you? Will you become intentional in reaching your full potential? If you need help, just ask. Give me a call at 315-474-4201 ext. 20 or send me an email at dfreund@macny.org. I am happy to walk with you on your journey of growth. Attitude
Published May 2016 "I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it, and so it is with you…. We are in charge of our attitudes." Chuck Swindoll Motivational speakers often say Attitude is everything. “If you can believe it, you can do it.” That is simply not true. No matter how much I believe it, I will never be the starting center for an NBA team. Attitude isn't everything, but it is the difference maker. Why do some people achieve great things? Why do some people seem always to have issues, struggles, and disappointments that derail their plans? I believe much of it is related to attitude. Let us look at a simple example of how attitude affects us. Imagine something bad has happened. Perhaps a business failure or a job loss. The person with a bad attitude or a victim mentality says “Why Me!" not because they want to know the answer, but rather because they want to feel sorry for themselves. The person with the positive attitude says "Why me?" They instinctively want to know what happened so they can correct the situation. The same two words but one is a question, and the other is a statement. Let us look at an example of a great historical thinker. Thomas Edison viewed failure as one of the greatest arts in the world. Edison knew how to fail forward toward success. He possessed a positive attitude. He anticipated success. Failure was just another step on the journey of success; a building block to greater knowledge and understanding. So what causes our negative attitudes? A March 9, 2009 article in Success Magazine read, "Habitual bad attitudes are often the product of past experiences and events. Common causes include low self-esteem, stress, fear, resentment, anger and an inability to handle change." Some refer to this as being programmed to be negative. Some individuals are more prone to have a more negative or suspicious view of life. I have been known to say pessimists are the happiest people in the world: half of the time they are right, the other half they are pleasantly surprised. Since our attitude is based on thoughts, we have the opportunity to do something about it. We all have a choice. We can choose an inner dialogue of self-encouragement and self-motivation, or we can choose one of self-defeat and self-pity. We have the opportunity to reprogram our minds. Remember, to whatever we give energy; we give life. Will we feed our mind with negativity or will we make a conscious decision to change direction? Will we move toward a life of positive thought, optimism, and an abundance mindset? So how do we reprogram our thoughts? It begins with being intentional about our thought life. Daily affirmations are powerful tools for reprogramming our mindset. Take time to write out affirming statements that identify our gifted areas, abilities, and past successes. Each morning before you start your day, read out loud your daily affirmations. Let us make gratitude part of our daily journal. By being intentional in being grateful, we realize how blessed we are. We begin to see the glass half full and not half empty. Be grateful for even the smallest blessing in a day. Perhaps we were stuck behind a slow driver only to find a speed trap around the next corner. That slow driver saved us from a speeding ticket. Happiness is a proactive choice. What choice will you make? As one of my mentors says, “you cannot choose what happens to you, but you can choose what happens in you.” Each month we have ended with the same question, so what’s next? What’s next for you? Will you become intentional in improving your attitude? If you need help, just ask. Give me a call at 315-474-4201 ext. 20 or send me an email at dfreund@macny.org and I am happy to walk with you on your journey of growth. Listening
Published April 2016 Someone once said, “Good listeners are not only popular but after a while he or she know something.” Last month I said we are learning together. Well, this topic is one where I have a lot to learn; the topic of Listening. Perhaps a better way to say it is that I know how to listen, but far too often I do not choose to listen. As an executive coach, I am trained to be fully present during a coaching session. The problem is too often I forget the value of being fully present during my everyday conversations. I could blame it on my behavioral profile, but that is just making excuses. I could also claim the statistic that the average person speaks at 125-150 words per minute, and that the average person can process 600 words per minute. Now that is a disaster waiting to happen. The fact is, being a great listener is a skill, and you need to become intentional in your efforts to be a great listener. Being a good listener is a choice. In the book, 25 Ways to Win With People, co-author Dr. Les Parrott wrote: “many strong leaders – especially strong ones with type A personalities, are not particularly good at listening.” He went on to add “when they do listen; their attitude is usually, Never mind the delivery story, just show me the baby.” Why would we not care about the details and only care about the end results? The truth will hurt. It is because we value our time more than the other person. It is because we think we have all the answers, and that our answers are more valuable and more accurate than anyone else. Great leaders know this and work to overcome these tendencies. My mentor John Maxwell shared that when he learned he was a poor listener, he took action to correct things. When he went into a meeting with someone, he would write a big letter L on the upper right-hand corner of his legal pad. This would be his visual reminder to be a better listener. Marshall Goldsmith, author, and executive coach wrote; “good listeners regard what they do as a highly active process – every muscle is engaged, especially the brain.” Good listening is hard work. The first thing we need to do is close our mouth. I know that sounds simple, but you cannot listen and talk at the same time. Goldsmith identified three things that good listeners do: 1. They think before they speak. 2. They listen respectfully. 3. They gauge whether what they want to say is worth saying. We need to choose to become Active Listeners. We need to make a conscious effort to listen carefully and to do our best to understand what is said. Most of the time we listen with the intent to respond when we should be listening with the intent to understand. In reality, the better we are at listening, the more information we will receive. Think how powerful this can be when solving problems, developing strategic plans, hiring new employees or in employee development meetings. Imagine how beneficial this can be at home! Here are some tips: 1. Pay attention to the person that is speaking. 2. Make eye contact. Look at them, not past them. 3. Show that you are listening by nodding your head. 4. Observe their body language. Only 7% of our communication is words. 38% is the tone of voice and 55% is body language. 5. Don’t interrupt them. 6. Once they finish, ask clarifying questions or paraphrase what they said. Active listening is tough and takes a conscious effort. Then again, what in life that is worthwhile doesn’t? So what’s next? What’s next for you? Will you become intentional in listening? If you need help, just ask. Give me a call at 315-474-4201 ext. 20 or send me an email at dfreund@macny.org and I would be happy to walk with you on your journey of growth. Thinking
Published March 2016 In February, we spoke about Why. We asked ourselves what we really want and worked to build a plan for growth. We spoke about why power outlasting will power. We touched on the topic of thinking. In this conversation, let’s explore the topic of thinking in greater detail. How much time do you spend thinking? Seriously, how much time do you spend really thinking? Not regurgitating memorized data but truly allowing your mind to explore ideas and develop new thoughts. Please know that I am in no way an expert on this subject. I am growing and learning just as you are. We are on this journey together, and we need to share as we learn. If we truly want to think, we need to be intentional about it. It is just like any other type of growth; it does not happen by accident. You need to prepare for it, plan for it, and act on it. Preparing for it – Let’s start with some questions. With what are you seeding your mind? Take an inventory of last week. How did you spend your time? Outside of work, in what types of activities did you engage? Where did you go? With whom did you speak? Are you a curious person? If so, what are you curious about? Have you spent time in situations that will help you grow your ability to think? Here are some activities that I have found to be helpful: Read – According to the Statistic Brain Research Institute, 42% of all college students will never read another book after graduation. 80% of U.S. families have not bought a book in the last year. Another source noted that only 28% of us will read a book this year. The great news is that there are other ways to read than picking up a book. Audiobooks, for example, allow you to listen while you exercise or drive to and from work. Meet with thought leaders – Who do you know that can teach you something? The answer to that question should be everyone. Everyone can teach us something. We just need to slow down and listen. Take the time to meet with thought leaders in the area you want to grow. Ask if you can buy them lunch or a cup of coffee. Just make sure you come with questions. You will be amazed at what you can learn by asking good questions. Remember, good leaders ask great questions. If we seed our mind with new thoughts, thinking will be much easier. That is preparation. Remember, junk food in, will lead to junk food thoughts. We cannot expect to think new thoughts if we fill our mind with nonsense. Planning for it – Thinking takes time. You need to make time in your schedule to think. You will not find the time; you need to plan for it. I’ll never forget the first time I heard one of my mentors say “sometimes you need to say no to the good, to make time for the best.” When we say we do not have time, we are really saying we value other things more than the task for which we do not have the time. Once you have set the time, you need to find the place. A place where you are free from distractions and interruptions; your special place where you allow yourself to truly slow down and think. Act on it - This will take practice, discipline, and focus. It is said that the best hitters in baseball can see the rotation on the ball as it leaves the pitcher’s hand. The best basketball players can block out all the noise and distractions as they shoot free throws. Now that is focus! Harry Allen Overstreet, Chair of Philosophy and Psychology at City College in New York, wrote “the immature mind hops from one thing to another; the mature mind follows through.” The reality is our mind cannot focus until it has a clear objective. Determine what you need to think about and focus on that topic. Great creative thoughts are right around the corner. All you need to do is get intentional about your thinking process. Each month we have ended with the question, so what’s next? What’s next for you? Will you become intentional in your thinking? If you need help, just ask. Give me a call at 315-474-4201 ext. 20 or send me an email at dfreund@macny.org and I would be happy to walk with you on your journey of growth. Why
Published February 2016 In January, we spoke about Intentionality. We identified three critical steps in getting started with being intentional in our personal and professional growth. 1: The dream killer: Later, 2: Taking control of our Daily Agenda, and 3: Taking time for Reflection. As I started writing this article, my plan was to jump into developing systems for growth, when I realized I never asked you what was important to you. So let’s start with that question. What’s important to you? No, I’m quite serious. What is REALLY important to you? My friend and mentor Scott Fay always asks the question this way, ‘What do you really REALLY want? “Have you taken the time to ask that question? So many people spend their entire life climbing the ladder of success, only to find it was leaning up against the wrong wall. How tragic! You spend all that energy, all the effort to achieve something that you don’t want, don’t enjoy, or that doesn’t last. In his book The Advantage, Patrick Lencioni writes about the need for organizations to answer six critical questions. The first of those questions is why they exist? It’s quite the same for individuals. We need to answer the WHY question. Why are we here? What is our reason for living? The reason is quite simple, “why power” always outlasts “will power.” If your Why is big enough, you will keep pressing on. Life is filled with distractions, mixed messages, and challenges along the way. Have you developed your Whys? It’s your Why that keeps you anchored during the storms of life when things get tough. Your Whys are the marker buoys that keep you on course when distractions try to get you sidetracked. It’s your Whys that keep you pressing on. Developing our Whys isn’t always easy. We must take the time to think about our life, our desires, our purpose for being. Thinking itself isn’t easy. As we went through school, we weren’t truly taught to think, we were taught to memorize. You need to find that quiet place where your creative mind can explore and develop your list of Whys. Ask others who know you best to review them with you. Once you have that short list, you can begin to develop your system for growth. Ok, let’s build a few more steps into our system. 1. Begin with the end in mind. Knowing which wall the ladder should be placed against is beginning with the end in mind. What do you want? What do you really REALLY want? 2. Make sure your system for growth is priority based. Are we working on the right things? Writer and philosopher Henry David Thoreau wrote, “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life he imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Do we understand that activity and productivity are not the same things? Are we spending our time on activities that will bring us closer to our goal? Are we working on the right things? If so, as Thoreau wrote, we will be shocked at what will be accomplished in our daily routine. 3. Does our system include some measurement or metric? Former team members would often hear me say, “If you don’t measure it, you can’t manage it.” 4. Can what I’m learning as I grow be applied to the pursuit of my purpose? 5. Am I organized? Being organized gives a sense of power and reduces stress. 6. Does my system promote consistency? Remember motivation gets you going, consistency keeps you growing. In January, we ended with the question, so what’s next? This will be a common theme for our future discussions. What’s next for you? Are you going to find your Whys and build your system for intentional growth? If you need help, just ask. Give me a call at 315-474-4201 ext. 20 or send an email at dfreund@macny.org and I’d be happy to help you develop your personal growth plan. Intentionality
Published January 2016 As 2016 gets underway, have you given any thought to your personal and professional growth? Too often we fool ourselves into thinking that we will grow automatically. This is simply not the case. We need to become intentional in our growth. The greatest gap in all the world is the gap between knowing and doing. In his book “As A Man Thinketh,” James Allen wrote, “People are anxious to improve their circumstances but are unwilling to improve themselves. Therefore, they remain bound.” Are you bound and perhaps don’t even know it? Are you in a rut? My mentor John Maxwell says, “the only difference between a rut and a grave is the length.” So now I’ll let you in on a little secret. One of the reasons I left a job I thoroughly enjoyed to come to MACNY was a selfish one. Perhaps you could say I was in a rut. Perhaps an amazing opportunity opened up to do something I love. Perhaps the company I was with needed a fresh perspective, and I needed to make room for others to grow. All of these are true. So what’s this selfish reason? I need to grow. I need to be more intentional in my growth as a leader, and I need to step out of my comfort zone and learn. As MACNY’s Chief Leadership Officer, I will have the opportunity to become more intentional in developing my leadership skills. How about you? Are you ready? No really, are you ready to make a change and move from accidental to intentional growth? Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone? It is not easy, and it will take discipline and hard work. Then again, doesn’t everything worthwhile take effort and hard work? So let’s get started. One of the critical first steps I work on with my coaching clients is this, don’t allow the dream killer to get hold of you. The dream killer you ask? Yes, the dream killer! A painful and disruptive word called LATER. We need to remove this word from our vocabulary. Take control of your agenda. You need to plan your life and not relinquish control of it to others. Start by planning growth activities into each day. At the beginning of the week review the week ahead. Yes, all of it. The entire week. Remember our goal is to take control of our week and not relinquish it to others. By reviewing your week ahead of time, you begin the process of managing yourself. You see we do not manage time, we manage ourselves. Take some time right now to schedule when you will be working on your growth. Remember the dream killer, if we do not get it scheduled at the beginning of the week, it will not happen. In his book “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”, John Maxwell writes, “Leadership develops daily, not in a day.” This is a life long process and the day we stop learning and growing is the day we need to stop leading. Take time to reflect. Many have said that experience is the best teacher, and that is not true. If it were true, everyone would be getting smarter every year. So many people just live the same year over and over. Reflected experience is the best teacher. After a meeting or an event, spend a few minutes journaling about the experience. What worked and went well? What would you like to change moving forward? This time, of documented reflection, will bring amazing growth. So what’s next? Stay tuned. Together we are in for an exciting learning experience. In the coming weeks, we will be announcing some new learning opportunities that will help you on your journey of intentionality. 1st Annual Live2Lead
Published November 2015 On October 9th, leaders from across Central New York gathered at The Lodge at Welch Allyn for Live2Lead 2015. This live simulcast, broadcast from Duluth, GA went out to over 400 sites in 32 countries. A near capacity crowd heard John Maxwell, Patrick Lencioni, Valorie Burton and Kevin Turner share from their years of real life experience. Pat Lencioni, Founder and President of The Table Group, spoke to the need for organizational health. We were reminded that a smart organization is not enough. Our teams need to function well and that we as leaders are responsible for creating and maintaining our organization’s health. Have we taken the time to distil our companies’ missions to true core values? Do we live theses values? Do we promote them? Have we clarified them over and over for our teams? Are we willing to fight for them and suffer the loss of a customer or employee to maintain them? Healthy companies build a cohesive leadership team, create clarity, over communicate clarity and reinforce clarity. Are we willing as leaders to be real and transparent in front of our teams? Are we afraid of conflicts? Conflict allows us to have a real commitment. Patrick shared with us that we shouldn’t worry about showing our team that we sweat. They’re already aware of it. He reminded us that we don’t need to like all of our employees, but we do need to love them. John Maxwell introduced us to the need for Intentional Living. Are we accepting our life or are we leading it? Hope is not a strategy. Focusing on our personal growth today, is the only assurance that tomorrow will be better. Intentional people don’t wait for others to make their day, but rather seek opportunities to improve someone else’s day. John shared a simple acronym: Plan ahead. P- Predetermine your course of action L- Lay out your goals A– Adjust your priorities N- Notify key personnel A -Allow time for acceptance H- Head into action E- Expect problems A-Always point to the wins D- Daily review your progress John reminded us that it is impossible to have an intentional action without having intentional thought. We really need to make every day count. A small intentional act is far better than a big good intention. Valorie Burton led us through a heartfelt lesson on being resilient and focusing on a positive mindset. We can either be an egg or a tennis ball. Both get thrown at the wall. One cracks and the other bounces back. We choose to either direct our thoughts, or they will direct us. Valorie shared that we choose the mindset we will have. Joy is a choice, and joyful people live longer, are healthier and are more successful. We also had the privilege of listening to John Maxwell interview Kevin Turner, COO of Microsoft. Kevin shared that integrity was the most important attribute of a leader. He shared that selfishness and significance are incompatible. Kevin reminded us that we need to truly know our team members to help motivate them and that it takes time and effort to truly listen to their goals and dreams. Following the sessions, we enjoyed an amazing buffet lunch provided by the staff at The Lodge. So much information given! So much energy shared! Can’t wait for Live2Lead 2016! Below are some testimonials from people that attended my most recent mastermind group. |
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